We met John Nelson just 5 short years ago. My dear friends, the Black family from Las Vegas, Nevada, just happened to be at the Montana Lake the same time Nellie was. Kathy called me and she said "Vicki, at the end of the dock we see a man that looks like your son, Stephen." I said, "Kathy, that is impossible. Stephen has arthrogryposis and it is a one out of 300, 000 chance you are born with that birth defect." She finally approached this man and confirmed the unthinkable. That he had the rare congenital birth defect that our now 21 year old son has.
She of course put me in touch with him and the rest was history.
When I first contacted Nellie, I had so many questions. The one thing I asked him that I regretted at the time, but do not now, was a simple question. I asked him "Nellie, so tell me about your mom and dad and family."
There was no email response back. Then one day about a week or so later a tape came in the mail of his "Life Worth Living." Needless to say, I was knocked to my knees that everyone in this world did not live with a disability with a warm and loving family that our son Stephen did.
We connected and never really talked more about it. But I learned quickly that he had the biggest extended family in the world and that was all of you at PLU. No matter when I talked to him he was with his best friend. If it was Christmas or Thanksgiving he was going to his families houses. Nellie taught me personally that God places your family around you, not always in one.
The other lesson Nellie taught our family and all of our Vegas friends is how much fun he could have with the greatest of confidence. I have two of the most wonderful friends in this world and they made Nellie's dreams come true the three times he came to Las Vegas. He loved it when he rolled his chair into the Wynn and their in his room on the TV screen it said " Welcome Mr. Nelson". He saw shows and went to clubs with security and ate at the finest restaurants. But it wasn't what those trips did for Nellie, it was what they did for me, personally. You see when you are a parent of disabled person, you always no matter what you have you always think of all the things you have not. Nellie taught me all of the things we have. A lesson that God directly placed him in my life to teach me. And he taught it so well that he healed a part of my part that I thought would forever be broken.
Selfishly, my biggest regret was not bringing Nellie to our summer home in San Diego. I didn't do it because I knew he would love it there. I knew he would love the climate, the atmosphere and the lifestyle of San Diego. I knew in my heart that he belonged at PLU till the day he died. He talked of moving to San Diego and I would remind him that he would be leaving behind more than he would be getting.
I talked to Nellie up until the day before he died. He never told me how sick he was. He didn't tell me because he knew I would want to get him to the best doctors and hospitals. Something he would get very angry with me when I would try to interfere. I do not believe in my heart that God chose to take Nellie home on August 30, 2009. I believe in my entire being Nellie chose to go home to our God.
So for those of you who learned from Nellie to fight and over come obstacles, know that as much as he talked about those great trips to Las Vegas, he told us all about all of you. We loved meeting Woj and Craig Stahl who brought him to Vegas and through them we felt that we knew all of you. And through Nellie I know more about our family then I ever thought possible. But at the end of this day, and at the end of our story a part of me still wishes I was dreaming. I miss him that much.
Thanks Nellie and remember me in heaven. I won't be on the field but I will be the one bringing you the "tall vanilla late with 7 pumps of vanilla". And I know I won't have to hold it for you, because you will be holding it yourself.
Thanks to all of you for loving Nellie and thank you for sharing him with his Las Vegas family.
Vicki Quinn
September 1, 2009
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